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Attachment Parenting
Attach or detach -- what's your style?
"The Child is Father of the Man"
Our earliest experiences shape us in ways that some people would not like to
admit. Babies learn to love and trust based on how they are treated. If the
world seems cold and lonely to a baby, he will tend to view the world that way
as he grows, until something happens to help him "unlearn" this world view. If
you want your baby's life to be full of joy and love, teach him or her from
birth that the world is a safe place.
Growing up is a gradual process from helplessness to independence. When an
infant is the most helpless and vulnerable, the parent is most helpful and
attached. Gradually, daily, even moment by moment, the child grows and develops
independence. It is not thrust upon them or endowed at some magical moment by a
parent or other caregiver saying "cry it out."
Today many people have problems sleeping, even when all
sleep hygiene protocols are followed. Could this have something to do with our
earliest experiences falling asleep? Even parents of young children who would
otherwise have an easy time drifting off become sleep deprived because of
bedtime battles, feeding schedules, and night time crying. Feeding is automatic
and crying is minimal or nil when night nursing and cosleeping are used. Babywearing during the
day can also help babies to get naps in and avoid them becoming overtired, and
it can also be used to reduce colic and wear the baby down before bedtime if he
is hard to settle. The easiest way to get your child to sleep - usually simply
by nursing the child to sleep when they are very young - is likely the most
beneficial for their health and emotional well-being, as well as benefiting moms
and dads.
Preventing sleep deprivation has important implications for mental and
physical well-being for parents. Cosleeping enables parents to provide warmth,
food, and security to the child, a sense of security in baby's well-being for
mom, and priceless bonding time.
Research has shown over and over that the most well-adjusted children have
had responsive parents. Although in the US, the "norm" is thought to be the
"opposite" of attachment parenting, the natural parenting style is used
world-wide by most parents who have not been "brainwashed" to ignore their
instincts. How sad that in today's society, it is considered acceptable to let a
child cry himself to sleep night after night, or to lock the child in a room
because "it's nap time" or "it's bed time." These practices may be endorsed by
some doctors but they are by no means ethical or safe for the child. Many
conscientious doctors, health organizations, researchers, and governmental
organizations endorse the methods of attachment parenting due to research,
belief in the mothering instinct and and in responding to the primitive needs of
babies.
Attachment parenting is a term coined by Dr. William Sears, but it describes
in essence the way that parents have treated children for most of human history.
Only recently have "experts" become the authority on everything from how to give
birth to how to get your child to sleep or what to feed them. Trust your
instincts, and take the information you hear or see with a grain of salt. If it
just feels wrong, it probably is!
Sometimes parenting is hard, but your baby depends on you to keep your cool
and make good decisions. It won't be long until your children are grown and the
days of their babyhood seem to be a distant memory.
Minimizing unnecessary crying for your child will teach him to trust you.
Cosleeping will teach children that sleep is a pleasant activity. Babywearing
will promote attachment, bonding, intellectual and physical development. All of
these practices in combination reduce stress for children and parents, creating
an environment where happy families can grow.
To get off to the best start breastfeeding, learn more about
what to do
immediately after birth, and
whom to call for help should you need it.
Also learn
about ways to
prevent complications in childbirth.
(See
especially the links section from the following website:
http://www.dallasmidwife.com/)
Find a local group:
Attachment Parenting International
has chapters throughout the world which offer support and
information from trained leaders, and it's a great way to find like-minded
friends.
See also:
What Babies Want with Noah
Wylie
Famous Attachment parents:
Noah Wylie
Peggy O'Mara
Nearly every famous mother and most famous fathers living prior to the 20th
century
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